Banish The Confusion

By Mindie Barnett

Author and motivational speaker Mindie Barnett answers your questions about life, navigating these stressful and uncertain times, while steering you down a more straightforward path.
We welcome your questions and invite you to reach out to Mindie at mindiesmusings1@gmail.com

Dear Mindie, I am having a real problem with the start of the fall season. I am in a real rut and need to make some changes to feel satisfied with my life. I am in a very demanding career; I work tireless hours and have no time for a relationship, which I desperately would love to pursue. I used to love my job, but now I feel as though it is causing me nothing but stress and upset, yet I love the financial security it brings, and it affords me a nice lifestyle. I would love to use my experience in this line of work (finance) to start a consulting business, but I am afraid I will not have enough money to survive. Can you please offer some advice so I can try and regroup and get on a path toward a better quality of life?

Lost and Confused

Dear Lost and Confused,
I think the fact you realize you are unhappy, and the root of the problem (your job) is a significant first step! But unfortunately, so many people merely remain stuck in their unhappiness and are unwilling even to contemplate making a pivot and taking control of their circumstances. In psychology, we consider this the “contemplation phase.”

I applaud you for reaching out and your ambition to start your own company. While being self-employed can be financially frightening, it can also give you the complete financial freedom to earn and seek business opportunities without any limits. In time, you may surprise yourself and make much more owning your own company than you did in your current position. The only way to know is to try.

Starting your own company from scratch is daunting, and it may not “pay the bills” or at least all the bills for a few months or even a year or more, so I advise starting such a company as a side hustle. That may sound like a terrible idea as it only adds more work to your overflowing plate, but in time you will be able to level things off. I recommend allocating some hours each day and a few more on weekends to build your consulting firm. When competent, I would take on one or two clients instead of three or four so that you can entirely focus on projects and excel. Then, once you are in a groove, you can take on more and eventually approach your boss and ask if you can become part-time to focus more on your consulting business. Once you feel you can manage your finances with only the consulting company’s income, you resign from your corporate job and become an official entrepreneur!


I know that all sounds like a lot of steps, and it is, but each step leads to another and yet another until you can look back and admire how far you have come and all you have accomplished.

Regarding a romantic relationship, you will always feel pulled in many directions.

Even more so, when you are an entrepreneur, you must also carve out time for yourself, including dating. Set aside a few hours a week to speak with suitors, peruse the dating apps, and go on dates. You will feel good knowing you have a foot in the water, even if it is not your entire leg. Eventually, you will meet someone worth blocking out more hours for and adjust your time wheel accordingly.

Stick with this plan to start this fall. I won’t be surprised to know that you will be settled as a full-time, self-employed consultant and dating a fantastic person to boot! And do not worry if a path becomes detoured along the way, either. Just keep moving – one step at a time.

Best of luck with all!